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Thursday, July 17, 2008

Phobia

Children are victims. Parents fill kids' consciousness with their own irrational fears and doubts. Some are religious nut-jobs while others scream at the mere sight of a spider. Hence, children are victims of their parent's credulity.

I am extraordinarily lucky: My father does not fear snakes and I don't pay any heed to those measly spiders as they skitter past, they being afraid lest I wield my rolled newspaper like a club. Neither do I suffer from a fear of a large number of mythical and supposedly dangerous scaled creatures.

However, even so, I was not spared. I was indoctrinated with the strict loathing and fear of just one thing: Shopping.

Indeed, my father is the epitome of the anti-shopper. Bring him into a shop, or near a shop, or indeed in the vicinity of shoppers, and he goes off like an overzealous burglar alarm! In his humble opinion, shoppers can go f*ck themselves. Scum-of-the-earth, villains and other colourful descriptions follow in quick succession.

With a role model as this, how could I resist? Thus, I came to dislike shopping as well.

Strangely though, even though it's taken a while, I realise I actually don't mind shopping. Don't get me wrong - I'm not in the "Shopping is a recreational activity" kind of zone, but I'm cool with a "If I need a shirt I don't mind going and looking around" kinda thing.

But ofcourse, like first-geneation atheist children, it takes a while for the scars to heal. So, dear friends, If I ever fall asleep standing whilst you "check out" clothes, please note that I should not be blamed: It was the few days my dad went shopping that are responsible here.

10 comments:

Kris said...

yeah man...i know exactly how you feel!!! whenever i ran out of decent wearable clothes, i used to tell my mom what i needed and then run off somewhere else...but it worked well for me while it lasted :D

Arjun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
~arjun said...

The things we didn't learn as kids; such as, what un-cut spinach looks like. I'm still baffled.

Also, you're a filthy atheist pig.

Are you *certain* you're first generation?

Ess Dee said...

@ arjun - you moron. it's a comparison. I'm not saying i'm a first-generation atheist: I'm saying that i'm the shopper equivalent of a first-generation atheist who is beginning to question the anti-shopping paranoia I was instilled with. Duh??

And to clarify: Yes I am a "filthy atheist pig", not first-generation tho. :-P

Ess Dee said...

Oh n on the same lines - did you read about the "Holding a Wafer hostage" (Come now.. the Wafer is the body of God. Capitals Wafer please... ;) ) thingy that happened in some US Univ?

ashika said...

n i thought u enjoyed shopin wit me!!!

Rashmi said...

lets go shopping SD!! i'm a good person to shop with.. knowledge.. skill and time management packed in one little shopper - ME!!

mnemonic said...

sd, i cant believe this, lately i think i m finding out how people are so much like me.
I dont mind snakes / spiders/etc. and i absolutely hated shopping, eeh until goa happened and i discovered my amazing bargaining skills :D
My 8/9 year old wardrobe was screaming out for a makeover and i dreaded the time i had to go shop, luckily raj came to my rescue and saved the day i am good for another 5 years i think :D

Ess Dee said...

@mnemonic - EXACTLY! 'twas goa that made me discover my latent bargaining skills!! lol :D

The Trooper said...

Hey nice blog here! I totally get what you're saying about shopping - I've understood people who wanna go shopping for fun. You can do so many better things with your time! I'll never understand how people can keep buying stuff they know they're neevr gonna use...