I am the great, one and only, totally magnificent marvelous all round good guy. Yes, I am Sir Kunal.
The other day, I was at an office outing and rather enjoying myself, which is quite a feat. An air of tediousness is often found hanging about office outings, mainly a result of minions completely confused in the informal, yet officey environment.
But I ofcourse, had no such problems. I said what I thought and held back no words coated with uncertain sugar. I could freely speak my mind, for I am brave and unconcerned with appearances and also I had recently quit (the very same office job).
To prove my point, I walked up to one of the many vassals and called him a reproductive organ. Why? Because I could. Because that is who I am. Sir Kunal.
But the inevitable mundane conversation grew tiresome. Off I went exploring the hills and soon came to a group of giggling women at the bottom of a small, albeit vertical, cliff.
Women exist to be impressed by my awesome skillz. Thus, in a bid to perform said impressing, I challenged them to climb the cliff. This was all a part of my secret plan to get them to dare ME to climb the cliff. While wearing floaters. And slightly inebriated.
My secret plan succeeded.
"Poof," I said, with a touch of "I could do that with one hand tied behind my back". I accepted their challenge knowing that once I succeeded, they shall swoon all over me.
I took a few seconds to utter an wicked laugh to myself and wring my hands in an evil manner. Muahahahahahaha. Then to the climb.
And so I climbed. Up and up I went and before I knew it, I was 40 feet in the air. I could feel the aura of swooning-ness emanating from them chicks below. I could feel the earth and rocks in my face as I slowly turned to face the world from my awesome vantage spot. This is EPIC, I thought.
Yes, finally! I shall be king of all I survey! Off with their heads!
Alas! But unfortunately I underestimated my rivals. No doubt utterly jealous of my success, one of my competitors had hurled rocks at me from above in an effort to undermine my efforts. And the worst part is that he did triumph.
And down I fell to the ground, scraping and screaming all the way. "Crunch" was the sound I remember. Ouch. By a miracle, I had avoided becoming the Late Great Sir Kunal, but only by a miracle. Foiled by some confounded minions. How embarrassing.
The world then proceeded to go black as I was cooking up a rescue story (in which I was the hero) to tell the world, lest they accuse me of being an inept climber.
Cool story bro.