Monday, May 29, 2006

Let's freak out the X-Men!

Ever wondered what kind of "super-powers" we'd have if we were mutants? Well, wonder no more! Here's what we'd be (in)capable of:

Real life person: Saurabh Das aka SD aka Me :D
X-Name: 1-Dimensional Man
Abilities: Thinner than air, able to slip through walls, can turn invisible by turning perpendicular to you,...

...wait a sec.. I'm the author here! I get to choose some really cool powers for myself, while keeping everybody else as lame as a dead-duck! I'll come back to me a little later... ;)

Real life person: Avinav aka "Nigger"
X-Name: Super-ego-man
Abilities: Capable of talking about himself for hours and hours! He has been known to defeat an entire Nation by boring them to death with his long-winded and self-flattering speeches! If you see him, your only hope is to RUN... or alternatively, you could pick up a pair of ear-plugs.
Arch-Nemisis: All deaf people - They can get close to him without suffering permanent brain-damage.
Sidekick: [none currently; the previous one ran away]

Real life person: Prady
X-Name: The Human Egg
Abilities: Still hatching....
Arch-Nemisis: Hard floors, high walls (remember Humpty-Dumpty?)
Ultimate ability: After eating a trillion eggs, he can turn into "The Incredible Bulk". His eyes pop out and he grows huge! So much so that now he doesn't need to find eggs any more - they gravitate towards him!

Real life person: Anirudh D. Patil aka "Baccha"
X-Name: The Calculating Fiend
Abilities: Can factorize 7-digit numbers in his head, can multiply numbers faster than most computers and it capable of many more murderous mind-bending mathematical feats. People cower in fear when he starts spewing out figures!
Sidekick/wife: Mathematecia ;)

Real life person: Grishma Rao
X-Name: Radiation Goddess
Abilities: She radiates (atleast she claims to...), she has "followers" (2 palm trees) and she gets high on a single beer!
Sidekicks/Super-Weapons: A guitar and a chocolate bar (They rhyme). Can you imagine any1 using a guitar as a weapon? Yeah. Exactly. She plays it like a violin. :P

Real life person: Nidhi
X-Name: Cheesy-Termite Girl / The Cheese Queen
Ability: Is capable of consuming mountains of cheese. Her powers rival those of spiderman, only much cheeseier. Her webs of cheese are feared by criminals and evil-doers everywhere!
Sidekick: A bucket of cheese. It follows here everywhere she goes!

I'd better stop here (The world won't be able to take much more!) - But do drop a comment by if you come across other mutants who deserve a spot in the spot-light :D


fundooz said...

muderfakr bitch lol!!

SD said...


Who's your fave super-"hero"?

fundooz said...

definitely me =))
umm..lemme see...prady and cheesegirl
they can defeat enemies unlike u, who'll jus run away from them

SD said...

fondooz said "definitely me"

yes.. you are living up to your mutant powers!

Hey and BTW, i'll have you know that a very "reputed" source said that "Atleast my powers sound mutaint-ish" :D :P

And I don't run away from enemies... using my 2-D plane powers, i saw them in half! BWHAHHAH! :P

Enlightened One said...

I am going to make you fat with cheese. The Human Egg may help. You wont be thin/invisible/able to slip through walls anymore. What will you do then 1-Dimensional man?

SD said...

noooooooooooooooooo!!! Not cheese! I'll grow fatttT!!! I won't be able to slip through walls! Oh dear me.. it seems my fellow super-heros are out to get me!!

But actally, in reality, do so by all means. I'll be glad. :D

And on the way, i'll also pick up some *real* superpowers :D

SD said...

"Coral Blue Groupie-Girl" has now turned into "Radiation Goddess". This does not mean that she has new powers, just that she went to the Office of Information and filed for a name-change.


fundooz said...

she duznt have more superpowers?
i knew it all along, she was the good-for-nothing woman. thats her real power.
idling around swatting flies

saint nothing! said...

haha.. u freak! :P.. u r surely da most feared... :P.. afterall cant attack someone till u see them rite?! :P.. u wud vanish into a thin line and none cud stop ya or attack ya! infact thus u will become the invisible crab monster when u r in da mood to attack! (crabs walk sideways!)

Anonymous said...

what!! you forgot me? :(( well I shall become the villain and take my revenge muhahaha!!
(shrek -actually you are supposed to guess it, but still this is for the audience

SD said...


@shrek - no I didn't forget you. You're already a monster! :P

@mallu - lol man. grrrrr! I be no crab! But still, "The Invisible Crab Monster" sounds waay cooler than "1-Dimensional Man" :D

fundooz said...

how inconvenient

Mandel's Broth said...

SD, you seem to have forgotten one key X-character.. KP.

X-name: The Nervous Breakdowner, anyone?
Powers: Able to ooze anxiety in extreme concentrated doses, enough to leave any arch-nemesis incapable of action, being too worried and anxious over a range of issues from, 'will I be able to defeat him?' to 'do these pants make my ass look big?' to do any great harm.
Sidekicks: Every damn bartender in this world. Oh, no, wait, that's his fanbase (the effects of his powers are good for business, you see).

SD said...

@Mandel - Nope, I didn't forget KP. His powers are far too great to be catalogued by mere mortals such as us!

But you do do a fair job of describing him. Bravo indeed! :D Any more X-People we're missing here?

Kanchan Mishra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mandel's Broth said...

I shall ponder upon that question hard and get back to you if I think up of more.

fundooz said...

I think we miss NBD-in-Lurv man. Kris needs to be described in full. I am not good at describing people, only myself!
Do the honours..

fundooz said...

o btw add my blog bitch!

Sunil Kundal said...

u forgot me !! X-( X-(
biiaaaaaaatchh !!!

but wait i've no idea wat powers i'll have .. mallu, prady .. do u have any idea abt me ?? :-S :-S

oh wait .. i used to download movies .. and .. and .. and could go one to watch 5-5 movies in a single go !!
now howz that ??

Sunil Kundal said...

and nice post :)) =))

SD said...

thanks Kundal.

Feeling left out eh.. Welll no probs... here's the KundalMutant:

Real Life Name: Sumit Kundal
X-Name: The Electronic Kobra ;)
Abilities: Able to download any obscure movie within minutes! Can watch upto 5 movies SIMULTANEOUSLY! Can press F5 to refresh his BB page at the rate of 397 times per second! Mortals shiver in fear as he replies to 10 posts at the same time! That's TRUE POWER for you!
Arch-Nemisis: Pradeep aka "Prady", tho only villian to be able to download more movies than Da Kobra!


kray said...

:)) bravo to sod for the attempt on KP :D

neways the point of my comment is: OI!!! that's ME in u'r profile pic!!!!! :D

SD said...

yaay! Kray's here!

Ya, you're there in the pic too... remember Kulang?

Anonymous said...

i hav no clue who all these ppl are... but this was amazingly entertaining!

SD said...

i hav no clue who all you (anonymous) are, but thanks :)

...and BTW, it's the X-Men today, Gunda tomorrow! ;) :D

fundooz said...

we be weirdos from Xargon
Coming to take away Celine Dion

dont mess with us you silly lil freak
we shall kick you so hard u leak!

bwaahahaa using my egotistic superpowers once again (egotistic, right sd?)

SD said...

egotistic it is.

GrasshopperBoy said...

hilarious post

Gutterflower said...

Clarification: I use the guitar to smash people's heads in. And it doesn't break, hence the indestructible-guitar-ness. =P

Giddu said...

one helluva popular post I say. i must also say that I am sad at not being featured in this list.

or are these the folks who went on that new year bash of yours?

SD said...

hey gid!


Would have loved to include ya in the list...

SD said...

@ Grish - use a guitar to beat up people? How rude!

And besides, that's torture for the guitar and hence it's disallowed. :P

Anonymous said...

whats up everyone

Just saying hello while I read through the posts

hopefully this is just what im looking for, looks like i have a lot to read.

Ess Dee said...

Hello Anonymous. Who art thou?

(please don't say "we are legion" or something! :P)