Gunda

This Bollywood blockbuster has taken the world by storm! Physicists everywhere are striving to understand the physics and dynamics of Mithun flicks. Linguists and other language scholars are pouring over the dialogues. No one knows what the next step will be. How will humanity respond?

Take those spectacular sound effects. Those millions of violins in the background, tearing your eardrums out, just trying to tell you, "This is a sad sad scene. Please please start crying now." Or the mighty DISHOOM that echoes across the halls as the hero beats up villians by the dozen. Consider the roaring DHISHKAOON after every gun shot. Even if the gun has a massive silencer attached to it!

And, what about the music? Apparently, the last movie that Kurt Kobain saw was B-Grade Bolywood Flick starring Govinda. He couldn't take any more - The ease with which Bollywood stars slide their hands over the guitar, playing it without pressing any of the strings, their faces twisted with ecstacy as they sing out their "tunes"! It was just too much.

And let's not forget the customary chase and action sequences that take place towards the end of movies. Choreographed to put dare-devil commandos to shame. Poor Neo would never have dared step into the Matrix had he known that the best way to dodge a bullet is to sway wildly, scream, and run towards the villian in slow motion!

As clearly demonstrated, the best way to survive a bullet shot is to sway even more wildly, raise the pitch of the scream, stumble and fall. The bad guy then goes through some "haha sucker" dialogues. After that, you can simply get up and thrash the bad guy, no bullet wound or anything!

And, i'm not even going to get started on the dance sequences.

Well, it'll be ages before we can make head-or-tail of these brilliant blockbusters. But let's not worry about that. Pick up the TV remote and hit that big red button which reads "Power". Then go outdoors and enjoy the rain.